25 Days to go and the Fear of Post Natal Depression

It is amazing to know that it is coming so close to meeting my little boy. But in the back of my mind i think i might be a scared little girl thinking all the ifs and maybes that might happen. I am mostly trying not to think about them as i think i am prepared for what is going to happen and i am up for anything thing Dr Davis suggests as he has delivered millions of babies and i haven't even had one.

I am also afraid of what will happen after i have the baby. My GP has told me that i have a high chance of getting post natal depression due to being diagnosed with depression, anxiety and Post Traumatic Stress disorder and i knew that from the start that there was a possibility of me getting PND, but now as things start getting closer i am thinking about it more and more. I don't have any fears that being a mother isn't going to be easy, i don't have any fears that waking up in all hours of the night is going to be hard, i am also not one of those people that sit there and say i am going to be a bad mother, but the one thing i fear is getting PND and knowing that if i am left alone with my baby and the PND is that bad that i can harm him, i don't want to know that fear.

As DH and i have been together for a long time, he knows the signs of if i am sinking back into that pit, he has been there for some of my hardest moments when all i wanted to do was give up. And being as wonderful as he is, he is very optimistic that i will not get PND, and i guess i need that, i need someone telling me that everything will be fine and to push all those fears aside and to hold me until i feel better.

But i guess we won't know until after the birth to see if these fears unfold and i just have to keep myself together and try not to get anxious about it. As that could definitely contribute to it.