OMG I O'ed

I can't believe it. 2 days after seeing my GYNE I O...I think the Clomid scared me into Oing!

I have a script for Clomid

So yesterday I saw my GYNE Dr Davis....and he gave me a script for Clomid!

I am excited, nervous and disappointed about starting Clomid. I am excited about starting it as it gives us a better chance of falling pregnant (and maybe TWINS!!!). I am really excited that we have a 1 in 20 chance of falling pregnant with twins.

I am nervous about going on Clomid as I feel like that this might be it for a while if Clomid doesn't work as we will have to organise our self to continue other treatments.

I am also disappointed at the fact that I managed to fall pregnant on my own with Lachlan and now we are needing some assistance. I feel like I have let myself down a bit (I know there are people worse off then me), I just really hope that it does work for us.

At the appointment Dr Davis was really straight forward and he got to the point (which I liked). He was happy (well you know what I mean) with the diagnosis that my GP found which was PCOS. He went over how my cycles were going and how the metformin wasn't working for me and then started writing out a 21 Day blood test and a script for Clomid.

When AF shows her face (I can't believe how eager for her to turn up) I need to make an appointment for Dr Davis in 4 weeks. I will need to continue taking my metformin, I will also start taking the Clomid from CD 2 for 5 days. Dr Davis said that I would most likely O (if I do 0) around CD 14 and then on CD 21 I would have my 21 day blood test to see if I O.

Keep your fingers crossed for me.

No Man's Land

Well at the moment I am in no man's land. I am CD 14 and not much is going on.

My hours have change at work and I am working Sunday (with double time), Monday (10% loading) and Tuesday (10% loading), which isn't too bad as I am getting a little bit more money. Even though I am missing out of one full day with DH it isn't too bad as he doesn't get much alone time with Lachlan and at least this gives him a chance to have that, we don't want Lachlan becoming too much of a mumma's boy LOL.

I don't belong

I am in a weird place at the moment.

There are things happening at work at the moment and I am feeling like I don't want to be there. We have a new manager and he is changing everything and it isn't for the good of the unit, also my friend (seems like my only friend at work) resigned today and as she is having surgery on Monday she won't be coming back to work.

I have 2 on line groups that I am part of on Facebook (which I think I have mentioned a coupe of times on here before) and I feel like I don't belong in them either. As by the time I manage to get into the group on an afternoon they are all in the middle of their own conversations and if there have been questions asked they have all been answered and there is no point me adding to it.

There is also the matter of real life. As you all know I don't have many friends, if any, and this may be partly my own fault as I don't trust people very easily so I tend to push people away before I get the chance to know them. I did have a good selection of friends before I found out I was pregnant, but once I became pregnant they all turned away from me and now the one that I thought that was my best friend is 15 weeks pregnant and keeps contacting me for advice and advice only...I feel so used.

It is also coming up to a year since DH cheated on me and it hurts so bad knowing that he did that too me. I know that we are working through things still, and things have been really good but it seems that I am beginning to push him away again. I really don't want to and I don't really want dive back into the past but I have a feel over the next couple of weeks it might happen.

Its been a while

Well Lachlan's birthday was a huge success!!!

Our little man was so spoilt with all the pressies that he received from the family and he had a great time playing with his (step) cousin Dylan. I must say that I wasn't as stressed as I thought that I would be and everything ran very smoothly and everyone had a really good time. Like at every function I put together there was way too much food, so everyone went home will a doggy bag of left overs.

I must say that I still can't believe that I have a one year old. It was today a year ago that we brought our little Lachie home and we sat him in the car seat in the middle of the lounge room (he was asleep) and we looked at him and then at each other and it was like what the hell do we do now!!! Thank God it didn't take long for us to get into a nice routine.

I do love that I have been really lucky to have some time off with him and to have gone back to part time work as it has been amazing to watch him grow into the little man that he is now. He is the most amazing little human being that I have ever met and I am so glad that he choose DH and I to be his parents. (Which re minds me I should really put some pics of him up).

On the TTC front AF decided on Lachlan's birthday of all days that she would show up (HOW RUDE!!). So this is now our 4th Cycle (this time around) that we have been TTC, DH and I will be trying the sperm meets egg method this month. We thought that seen as though in the middle of the cycle is when we see Dr Davis (28th November), so we don't really have much to lose.

I am also calling Dr Davis my good luck charm, as when we last saw him about TTC issues (Jan 2010) the next month we found out we were pregnant with Lachlan, so I am hoping that he will be lucky for us this time around as well!!

Tomrrow is the day!

I can't believe that a year ago today at 5pm was when it all started happening.

5pm is when I got my first contraction, although I didn't realise it was a contraction as it wasn't really that painful. I thought that I was braxtons hicks so I pop some panadol and had a relaxing bath (which I fell asleep in) and then went to bed.

The next day is when everything got interesting.

I am sitting here thinking about everything that happened and I am little sadden that this year has gone so quick, that tomorrow he isn't my little baby any more, that he is my toddler/1 year old.

Well I guess he will always be my little baby boy, even when he is 30.

Keeping fingers crossed

Well I think I might be Oing!!!

Things seem to be going in the right direction, my cervix is high, firm and opening and I think for the last 2 days my CM is looking egg white...so please let me O.

Well this day a year ago I was 1 day overdue and I went in and saw my OB and he gave me a S&S to get things moving. 3 more days and my bub will be 1

Today a year ago

Today a year ago was Lachlan's due date. I remember that I went for a 2 hour walk to try and get him to budge, but that didn't work, as Lachlan had other plans.

I remember Michael being really nervous about me being able to go into labour any day now but I was calm about the labour and really excited about meeting our baby boy

CD 14 and 5 days until Lachlan Turns 1!

Well currently CD 14 and I really must say I feel like there is nothing happening. I have barely any CM and feel very dry down there, I think I am actually afraid to chart that in my FF chart. I have also been checking my cervix and that is high, firm and closed at the moment so that is gearing up for something (who knows what at the moment). I guess it is a wait and see at the moment, I guess one good thing is that my appointment with my GYNE is only 2 weeks away so that gives me hope at the moment.

I just can't believe how much thing can change in a year and a half, fertility wise. I go from being able to conceive in 6 months to having PCOS and needing mess to control things, it really puts me in head spins thinking about it.

Well in more exciting news Lachlan turns 1 in 5 days can you believe it! DH and I ordered the cake on Saturday and also bought some decorations as well. I still don't really know what to get him in terms of a present, I haven't really seen anything that catches my eye yet. I guess I have a few more days to have a look around so I might see something then.

For his party (I might already mentioned this so I am sorry if am repeating myself) we are only having something small. It is mostly going to be my family and 1 set of michael's parents (as having both sets equals disaster) which is kind of nice as our house isn't that big and Lachlan won't remember the party. We will do something bigger in later years.