I don't belong

I am in a weird place at the moment.

There are things happening at work at the moment and I am feeling like I don't want to be there. We have a new manager and he is changing everything and it isn't for the good of the unit, also my friend (seems like my only friend at work) resigned today and as she is having surgery on Monday she won't be coming back to work.

I have 2 on line groups that I am part of on Facebook (which I think I have mentioned a coupe of times on here before) and I feel like I don't belong in them either. As by the time I manage to get into the group on an afternoon they are all in the middle of their own conversations and if there have been questions asked they have all been answered and there is no point me adding to it.

There is also the matter of real life. As you all know I don't have many friends, if any, and this may be partly my own fault as I don't trust people very easily so I tend to push people away before I get the chance to know them. I did have a good selection of friends before I found out I was pregnant, but once I became pregnant they all turned away from me and now the one that I thought that was my best friend is 15 weeks pregnant and keeps contacting me for advice and advice only...I feel so used.

It is also coming up to a year since DH cheated on me and it hurts so bad knowing that he did that too me. I know that we are working through things still, and things have been really good but it seems that I am beginning to push him away again. I really don't want to and I don't really want dive back into the past but I have a feel over the next couple of weeks it might happen.