New years resolutions

I usually think around this time of year about what I will do to make the next year a better year, but I think anything I do next year wont make this year a distant memory.

This year has tested my marriage with DH having an affair in January/February of this year, and that had created in itself a mired of other obstacles to over come. I miscarried in April this year, or 3rd loss overall which just creates more pain in my heart. In July I am diagnosed with PCOS and started on metformin. November I discover that I haven't been ovulating and am given a referral to see Dr Davis. Dr Favis starts gives me a scrip for Clomid. December (the 14th to be exact) I started Clomid, and in that cycle I remain to finish out the year.

I am hoping to start the New Year differently this year. I don't want any fights, I don't want to be thinking about last year (even though it was the first full year with my son, and that has been ruined by my DH stupidity), I just want to forget about this year completely. If I get up the duff this cycle I will be due to test around DH birthday 16th January) so that will be a great present for him, as I will keep it a secret from him and wrap the test up as a present for him.

I know you are not meant to use a pregnancy as keeping a couple together, and please don't think I am, but I am thinking that me becoming pregnant at the beginning of next year, where all the crap of last year stared would be a great new beginning for us both. I love my husband and I know what he did was wrong, and he knows that he has hurt me so much, and he has tried so hard over this year to glue this family back together, and I can't see myself having children with anyone else.

So my New Years Resolutions are:

- to become pregnant

- to lose weight

- to get a tattoo (have been wanting Lachlan's name plus so other meaningful ones for a while now)

- to continue studying

- to keep mending my relationship with DH.

These are the major things I want to happen and I believe they are reachable if I am in the right mindset.

As for For me trying to conceive I am currently CD 10. I am still feeling the hot flushes and the metformin is still giving me the dry mouth so I am trying to keep up the fluids.