I need a sign

Sometimes I feel like I am waiting for some sort of sign. A sign that would show me what my future holds for me and would tell me if I am on the right track. I just feel like sometimes I am walking this endless path and it is leading me know where.

I feel like that things are not getting better for Charlotte and the hospital trips and the upping of the medication has just stalled things. She is still having periods during the day where she is constantly screaming and crying and refusing her bottles, and being on my own with both the kids while all this is going on is a lot of hard work.

One thing that isn't helping is Lachlan's terrible twos that seems to have amped up something horrendous. He is whinging all the time and really pushing me. I would really like to say that I am handling things with him but with this and the stuff going on with Charlotte it, but I can really say I'm struggling.

Also I haven't been sleeping very well. I haven't been managing to get to bed until 2am some nights as I am just not tired, and even though I am in bed I am not drifting off to sleep until 2 hours later. I really don't know why this is happening and it is really putting my anxiety out of whack and it is also making me extremely agitated which is also making me lash out. I am really not liking the person that I am turning into with lack of sleep.

Anyway have to go Charlotte is starting to scream the house down.