Life after babies

Have you given much thought to life after you have finished having babies?

I know I haven't....that is until last night. 

So last night M and I were having a chat and we have decided that our next baby will probably be our last. Now I have never liked the idea of uneven number of children as I always feel like someone will be left out, but M only really wanted 2 so this is our compromise. 

Anyway I asked M where he saw himself in 5 years, he replied with "I see myself in a management position, why? Where do you see yourself?" I think I stared at him blankly for a moment, because I didn't really know where I saw myself. 

Ever since I met M I knew I wanted to have a family with him and the moment I found out I was pregnant with Jensen all I could think about was babies. So for the last 9 years my life has been about babies and nothing else. 

I have never had any future goals, I have never thought of furthering my career as I was never really work driven. I was always about having a family and having babies...that was me. 

Now with us wanting to try for a another baby in the future I have this impending doom that there is nothing for me to do in the future. 

So this morning I have sat down with a cuppa tea, a pen and a piece of paper that read in 5 years. At first I wrote down have a baby as that was the only thing I could see myself doing, but then ideas began to flow and I ended up having my list, which read a page long! The relief that I felt knowing that there was life for me after babies was amazing. There was even points that were career driven as well like, finish my diploma and get a job in community service. 

One thing I did notice while I was writing this list was how much things will change. Lachlan will be starting primary school within the next 5 years and I will also be preparing Charlotte for primary school as well. Another thing is that M and I will be turning 30! 

So maybe the next chapter after babies won't be so scary, maybe it is just coming in time.