2nd Session

Well before we had our second session yesterday DH asked if we could meet up so that we could have a talk. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and said yes, although i picked a place near our counsellors office where it was public as i thought if it was something bad i would keep my cool in public.

I got to the cafe early so that i could choose a table that i felt comfortable with and waited for DH to come. He got there on time and at first he didn't say much, he was just being polite and we ordered a coffee. Once the coffee was ordered and we had our first sip he started to talk. At first he told me that he had been offered a promotion, it meant that he would start earlier and be getting paid a lot more. I told him that I was really happy for him, as i know how much he wanted this promotion. He told me that with this promotion i didn't have to go back to work full time, that i could stay part time and spend more time with our son. This made me feel excited as i really didn't want to go back to full time.

That was really the only thing he needed to tell me as from there he went of to tell me how sorry he was again, but i needed to stop him there. I told him that i didn't want to continue on with this, that if he wanted to say all this he could do it in our session.

He stopped and we continued in silence until we got to our session.

This time around i could take part as there was no more surprises....that i knew of. We were asked what we wanted out of this session. DH said that he wanted my forgiveness, that he wanted Lachlan and i to come home and he wanted me to be able to trust him again. Then it came to my turn. I wasn't sure what i wanted. I told them that i wasn't ready to come home yet, that him wanting my forgiveness and my trust was going to take time...a lot of time and that he would need to give me this time or he will push me away...and maybe for good.

I told them that things were hard for me at the moment, that i am dealing with a lot and it is hard dealing with everything that has been happening without my knight in shinning armour. I told them that i had been to the doctors and have been given a referral for private sessions with another counsellor to talk things through on my own. Both of them said this was a good idea.

DH seemed really supportive with all my decisions that i had made and asked if he would be able to come around every day to see Lachlan, or if we could meet somewhere neutral so that he could see him. I agreed with this as i don't want to take his son away from him, and maybe this might help.