Crappy Day

I have had a pretty emotional last couple of days, it all started last night, I cried myself a sleep. I think I am missing the physical contact that I once had with my husband, mostly I just want to cuddle up to him on the couch qnd pretend that nothing happened and that it was just a bad dream. Also I think with everything going so well I just want him to hug me and for me to go home with him, but I think I am too afraid to do it, I think if I go back home it is like me saying that everything he did to me was ok.

I don't want to keep second guessing, I really wish that there was someone to tell me what to do.

And for the second of the two emotional days it was the same sort of thing...DH. once again he asked me to come home, and there was nothing more that I wanted then to run into his arms and say yes. When I got home after seeing him I gave Lachlan to his grandparents and went to our room and cried. I was so distraught. I even had a panic attack, and I haven't had one in over a year. It tool me for ever to calm down as I usually have DH with me to help control my breathing. It just gives me another reason why I need him.