New Years Eve

New Years Eve 2004. My friends had taken me to Sydney to the Rocks as my boyfriend had dumped me 3 days before. It was 11pm and my friends were dancing and i was giving free hugs to people passing by that wanted one, when one guy stopped me and said hello. That guy was my husband.

In that moment although i had been drinking i knew...i knew that he was the one that i would spend the rest of my life with.

Michael took me down to the spot where his friends were sitting to watch the fire works, and when the clock stricked 12 we kissed. I love the story of how we met and i can't wait to tell Lachlan (and any other children we have) it.

We have never missed a kiss on New Years Eve and i doubt we ever will.

In the New Year

Well i am not one for New Year resolutions as i am the person that usually breaks them, but seen as though i won't be going back to work until towards the end of the year and even that is part time, i thought that i might put one in place. So i thought that this year will be the year i get around to losing those extra kilos.

Before i got pregnant with Lachlan i was a bit overweight and when i mean a bit on the BMI scale i was just hitting it, and now that i have had him and come back down to my pregnancy weight i wan to get out there and lose it.

When growing up i was at normal weight due to all the exercising i did. I was a competitive swimmer, going to all the meets, swimming in Country, State and Nationals, thinking one day i am going to swim for a Australia. But when i was 14 i was gang rapped and swimming was the last thing on my mind. So going into a downward spiral and doing things a 14 year old girl shouldn't be doing , the dream of swimming for my Country was lost.

Once i slowly got my life back on track i had a new dream, i was going to join the Navy and serve my Country. I also knew this was a good way to get away from it all and get discipline back into my life. I did the training and the testing and was waiting to join when i needed to have surgery to remove my gallbladder, and once again my dreams were put on hold as i couldn't be recruited until 5 years after i had, had my surgery.


So to by my time i finished my HSC and decided that after i finished school i would go to TAFE and do a course. But little did i know that on the 31st December 2004 i would meet someone that would change my life completely and i would get new dreams.

So meeting my husband changed everything, and that is also when i started to put on the weight as i go comfortable with him, and he always thought i looked beautiful no matter how i looked.

But next things are going to change i am going to lose those kilos and i am also going to enroll myself into a personal training course. I am sick of the job i'm in, i want to get back outside, i no longer want to work in a hospital in a mundane job, where i feel like i am going no where i want to be in a job that means something that has rewards....

Yep Aunt Flows back...

Well i wasn't sure at first if it was her or not, but seen as though the bleeding has lasted 4 days with a little spotting this morning i know that it is defiantly her. I also couldn't start the pill this cycle as i wasn't sure if it was her or not so i am going to need to start it at the next cycle. It kind of sucks that i wasn't able to breast feed as it means i wouldn't have got my period so soon after his birth...but what can you do.


I have come to terms with taking the pill as well, i have thought that i will take it until the end of 2011 and will stop it at my last cycle of the end of next year. Michael and i have talked about trying for our second in June/July 2012 but the decision will not be finalised until Lachlan turns one, but stopping the pill at the end of next year will mean that my body can get it out of our system by the time we start trying.

Lachlan's first christmas...and all the rest.

Well Christmas is over for another year, but this one was special for my family as we had a cute little baby in our lives. Lachlan had a good Christmas (even though he didn't really know what was going on) and got really spoilt from the whole family. He spent most of Christmas Day awake as there was so much excitement and last night ended up having an 8 hour sleep!

Mummy and daddy also got spoilt with getting $500 in gift vouchers each! Which will come in handy as I need some new clothes.

This time of year also brings sadness to my family as it is the second Christmas we have spent without our angel baby Jensen. And every year we go to his head stone and give him his Christmas present as he is gone but not forgotten. I know there will come a day when we will have to explain to Lachlan why we do this and I know it will be a hard topic to talk about.

In the next coming days we will be spending sometime with DH's family and we will then have new years eve coming up as well.

Good Luck Summastarlet!!!

A Friend of mine that i met off BH and later was in a group with called SWB did a pregnancy test the other day and today she is going for her blood test.

We started off our journeys together and i believed that we were really close but then i got pregnant and i pulled away as i thought that i would be rubbing it in her face. As i continued on my journey with my little man, she began the process of IVF and on her first try it looks like her and her husband are getting their christmas Miracle.

I am so happy for you Summa and i am so glad that you are finally getting your much wanted baby, you are going to be a great mummy.

Ob appointment

Well yesterday DH and I went and saw Dr Davis. Dr Davis talked to me about how traumatic Lachlan's birth was and how he couldn't believe how much blood I loss. He also checked my incision site and let me know that it was healing well. We also talked about delivery if we decided to have another child, he siad that if I would like the option of vaginal birth that it would be still on the table, but DH and I have already talked about it and that I would probably have a c-section as things could be controlled more.

In the appointment Dr Davis gave me a script for Yasmin which is a birth control pill. I expected that this would come up but I didn't know how I would react when it did. I didn't say anything in the appointment and neither did DH but when we left DH said this to me "I am only going to say this once, you are talking the pill." I was devastated when he said this, we said that we wanted another child, and that we were going to talk about it when Lachlan turns 1 but going on the pill seems so final and it took my body a while to adjust off it when I came off it and that was before we decided that we wanted to try for a baby and I don't want to have to try forever for a second. so I am going to need to talk to DH and tell him my concerns and if he wants me to take it I will only take it for 6 months as I will need to let my body re adjust again.

also on another note I have had a cold that I got from my family and I have given it to Lachlan which hasn't been fun. so we have both been yucky and snotty.

first christmas is coming!

It is really exciting that this week Lachlan is turning 6 weeks and that this will be his first Christmas. The downer is that it looks like I got my little sisters cold, and am not happy. I have so much to do this week, and I don't know how I am going to look after my 5 week old! DH is being really good and looking after me and Lachlan and said that he will go and get me some cold and.flu tablets and some face masks.

Baby Portraits

I have been doing some research into baby portraits as i knew from day one of me being pregnant that i wanted these done. I have just given the photographer that did our wedding pictures (Berg Photography) call to see what his pricing's are as our wedding pictures were absolutely beautiful and i wouldn't want anyone else doing them. Now i the prices aren't looking that bad and now i will only have to discuss it with DH before i book him in. Although i don't think we would get them done till next year in January, which isn't too bad as i think Lachlan is developing a bit of a personality and i would love that to come through in the photos.

Feeling pretty lonely...can't wait for Mother's Group.

I know a lot of people would think i am bitching, but i have been feeling lonely. I have my family that come and visit but recently i have been waiting a friend i could talk to. I know i have the SWB girls but i really want some face to face contact with someone. To have a chat to, a girls day or even just gossip with over a glass of wine (which i can now have).

I am really looking forward to going to Mother's group and seeing if i can connect with someone. I am not really the type of girl that makes friends with women easily either, i guess it was all those years at a all girls school you kinda get sick of them.

I really wish my friends wouldn't have ditched me when they found out i was pregnant, but i guess they weren't really friends then.

Update

After Lachlan having a bad afternoon yesterday and an hour and a half of him crying we finally got him to sleep and then he slept for 7 hours!!! It was so amazing and it was great for Michael and I to get some much needed sleep. I know it probably wont last and it won't happen again for awhile but it was great that he could do that.

The c-section incision is still pink and something really gross happened the other day. I was pulling my shirt down as it had rolled up and i pulled one of the stitches that was hanging out. Now with me doing this it made the one of my left side get pulled inside me, now it didn't hurt or bleed it was just really weird. Now i don't think there is a problem with me doing this as they are disolveable, just again really weird.

There is another thing. I want another baby. Now Michael and i have always said that we wanted 3 or 4 kids and when i got pregnant with Lachlan we said that we would wait a year to 2 years to start trying for our second, but i have now been thinking i really want another one and i want to start trying sometime next year. And don't get me wrong i don't think any less of Lachlan and i love him so much, i just have these thoughts in my head.

Early Childhood nurse visit

Jennie my early childhood nurse came for a home visit on Tuesday (and i am sorry this post is late this is the first chance i have gotten to blog). She was really nice and very helpful. She weighed Lachlan and he has put back on his birth weight and then some!!! Which is really great!!!

She also told me about a Mothers group or all the bubs that around Lachlan's age and that they were having a meeting on the 16th December so i am looking forward to going to that.


Not much else have been happening really since the last post as it has just been Lachlan. Hamish and myself at home. Yes i included the cat lol.