My Heart hurts

Today a friend of mine announced on FB that she is pregnant (I have known that she is pregnant since she took the test). But I must say that my heart hurts so much to hear this news.

Now don't get me wrong, I am thankful for everyday I carried Lachlan, and for every day that I get to hold him in my arms. But my heart hurts for the days that I don't get to hold my Jensen and my other two angle babies.

I long for the day that I get to hold Jensen once again in my arms, and to hold my two angle babies for the first time.

I look at the tickers that I have at the end of my blog and see all the time has passed since they were in my life. I love them so much and I will never get the chance to see the kind of people they will grow up to be.

The girls in the BH November group say they are always with me and I do believe that. I just wish they were here in flesh and blood.

I love and miss them.

CD 6

Well I have hit CD 6 and AF left yesterday which was really nice as DH and I had a date night last night. We haven't had one in a while and it was nice to go out for dinner and to go see a movie as the last one we saw was the Transforma's movie.

I am hoping that this cycle will be more eventful. I have ordered some O strips (fingers crossed they work this time around).

New Blog and CD1

There comes a time in ones blogging life to start a new blog....well I needed to as I seemed to be having problems with mine and I was getting fed up with it...so here to the new blog.

Well as you can see I am CD 1. I am kind of glad to say that thank God she showed up! I knew I wasn't ovulating and it was kind of getting fed up that she wasn't showing up for me. So with a new cycle comes once again the metformin, so I started back up with that again and as I haven't seen Dr Davis yet (appointment on the 28th November) this is the only medication that I will be taking.

I haven't rung around to acupuncture places just yes so I will be doing that sometime soon so I can set up an appointment to see if that will help me ovulate.

On the Lachlan front, he is currently singing to his lunch lol. I can't believe that soon my little baby (who isn't really a baby anymore) will be 1!!! Time has just flown by so quickly!

Hopefully with that time we will be blessed with another bundle of joy!!!

CD 68 and a BFN

Well as the title suggests I got a BFN this morning and I still don't really have any answers...but I guess I should resign myself to the fact that I am PCOS bitch.

Dh is going to take me to the doctors tomorrow as he wants some answers, and to understand a bit more what is going on with me and what our next step is...well I think he is going to demand it. I love that he is taking a interest in what is going on as it shows me that he really cares and that he wants more children rather then just saying that he wants them.

I really want to O...I need to O...I want to add more children to our family.

11 Months!!

I can't believe my baby is 11 months old today! It has gone so quick as it only seems like yesterday that I was hold him in the hospital for the first time.

In a month I will no longer have a baby and I will have a toddler!

Also not only can my monkey climb the stairs (gates are now in place to stop this) he is starting to climb onto the lounges *insert eye roll*

Glutton for punishment

Well I wasn't going to test until next weekend but I thought seen as though I may have O'ed like 11 days ago I would take it as I got my positive with Lachlan at 10 DPO. Well guess what it was a negative, and I had a little cry to DH and told him that my body isn't working and that I have no control over this thing I am living in.
He was actually really good and said that we would go to the doctors and get things sorted. I am glad to have him.

CD 60...and the wait continues

Well I took a little time away from the blog while I remembered my Jensen.

At the moment I am CD 60 and still not pregnant and still no sign of AF. I think I may have O'ed at CD 52, so I am going to treat this as the TWW and then after that I am heading back to the GP (yes he must love seeing me so much) and see what our next step is as it seems pretty obvious that I didn't O and that this PCOS is kicking my ass more then I think.

It is almost a month till Lachlan turns 1!!!! I can't believe that it has gone so quick, where has the year gone? It seems just like yesterday that I had brought him home.

As the way of a party we are just having a family BBQ, he is not going to remember it and it will be just nice for the family to get together and celebrate it.