A Different Frame of Mind.

So it is Day 1 of taking my antidepressants. Now I might have forgotten to mention in other postings that I went and saw my GP to let him know that I felt like I am relapsing. He in turn set up an appointment with a psychologist, which I attended last Friday and asked me to come back on Monday (yesterday). So I did.

As I have been there and done that with shrink appointments and antidepressants he thought that the best course of action for myself would be to go on medication and to do that hand in hand with the psychology appointments.

In the past I haven't had the best run of luck with psychologists as I feel they can't talk or help me about what happened to me unless they have been through it themselves. This time as I am sick of relapsing I am going in with a different frame of mind. I am going in thinking that Julie (that is the psychologists name) will be able to help me over come this obstacle in my life.

We have only really touched base on a couple of things as the initial appointment was only to get some basic details and to explain how she runs her sessions and so far I am happy about that.

I have also decided that I am going to record the goings on of the appointments. At this stage I am not TTC or pregnant so really this blog will be pretty quite unless I blog about the kids and I didn't really set this blog up to be all about babies.

Proud Mummy Moment

Yesterday was my cousins wedding. The ceremony started at 4.30 which we knew was going to be a horrible time for us with the kids.

I was basically running around like a chicken with my grad cut off trying to find everyone's clothes and making sure that they were ironed.

Then the weather turned cold.

Lachlan was originally going to wear shorts, so in the end he ended up wearing jeans, but still looked handsome. Charlotte was wearing a pretty dress which I ended up putting a white jumpsuit under her, tights and wrapped her up in a very warm blanket.

Once we finished getting ready (I ended up getting 2 kids, 1 husband, 1 sister and myself ready) we headed to the wedding.

Lachlan was an absolute gem. He was polite didn't get cranky at anyone with the amount of hugs he was getting and didn't run down the aisle when the ceremony was taking place.Charlotte was the same and only cracked it after the ceremony when it was feeding time.

As the reception was so late DH and I thought that we wouldn't be able to stay long, but once again my children surprised me. Lachlan ate his dinner with no problems, stayed happy, clapped and danced. Charlotte fed and slept until we came home and fed again.

I am so proud of my children, they surprise me at every turn.

A downer post

Things are still crap. Charlotte's reflux isn't getting any better and the Losec just seems to be making things worse with more violent projectile vomits and more long days and nights if her crying and screaming. She has also had this cough since birth that hasn't gone away.

I called her paediatrician today, but unfortunately he was extremely busy and he didn't get back to me today, so he will be getting another call from me tomorrow and I will also be taking her to the GP tomorrow to see if he can do anything for us and I will also get him to check out why she has this cough.

I will also be seeing the doctor as my anxiety is rearing its ugly head again. I know it is because of the added stress of Charlotte's reflux and because of the lack of sleep. I have also been feeling down and flat, I know I don't have post natal depression as I have regular depression and I know with having a child I am prone to becoming depressed as it happened after I had Lachlan, but that also came about with the other things that were going on in my life then.

Update on Charlotte and Babywearing

Had Charlotte's appointment with her paediatrician today and he confirmed that she has reflux, which we already knew. He was happy we changed her formula to Novalac reflux and has also given us a script to start her on Losec. I am really happy that we are getting somewhere now and we will be able to get on top of this.

Last Saturday (13/10) DH, Lachlan, Charlotte and I went to a Babywearing day (as it was Babywearing week last week). It turned out to be a really great morning. I was really worried that we weren't going to enjoy ourselves as I wasn't really sure if I would be into Babywearing.

So DH and I had a chat to a few people and watched some demonstrations but I still wasn't sure until it came to taking the celebratory photo. A wonderful lady came up and asked if I could wear her wrap (which was beautiful) in the photo, I said yes although I probably didn't sound too enthusiastic about it, but once the wrap was on....oh my god! It was so damn comfortable it was unbelievable! I could barely feel that Charlotte was on me.

Right there and then I was converted.

I am currently borrowing a warp from that wonderful lady and have been looking at wraps on www.wovenwraps.com.au and looking at getting an Ellevill. They are such beautiful wraps, I only wish I knew about all this when I had Lachlan.

Speaking if Lachlan we are still struggling a bit with his sleep as he isn't going down by himself, although he is going down and staying asleep till 4am with help from daddy as DH is laying in bed with him until he falls asleep.

I HATE REFLUX!!!

My poor baby girl is in so much pain and there is nothing as can do to help her.

This reflux is kicking all of our asses!

We started her on Novalac Reflux formula today and I am helping that this will be able to provide her some relief. If not i will be ringing the pediatrician and getting an earlier appointment as she needs more help.

It is really painful to watch her in so much pain.

On another note Lachlan has been having a few sleep issues, but I think we are getting on top of it finally.

I think my baby girl has reflux :(

All yesterday Charlotte was vomiting during and after feeds, they haven't been small vomits either they have been quite big. This really concerned DH and I as she isn't a big baby (born weighting 2.7kg 4 weeks ago) and we thought we should get her checked out.

I rang our GP as Charlotte still doesn't have a Medicare number and they said we can bring her in anytime during the day and she will be seen straight away.

Once we dropped Lachlan off at my parents we went straight in, and like they said on the phone we were called in as soon as we sat down in the waiting room.

As soon as we told him about the vomiting our GP said that it sounded very much like reflux :(

We have our 6 weekly check up with the pediatrician anyway on the 17th of October and our GP said to let him know, and that if we have any problems we can ring and get an appointment sooner.

There has been the mention of medication as well and it is making me so sad that once again there is something wrong with my baby. She just can't get a break.

Sick bubba boy

My poor little bubba boy is sick...again! Damn childcare! I swear he gets something and by the time he gets over it there is something new for him to catch.

He has had this really nasty cough which at some stages makes him vomit. It makes me so sad that I can't do anything to help him, thankfully the chemist gave us some herbal stuff to help him and nurofen and panadol have been keeping his temp down.

I am just trying to keep it away from Charlotte and so far I have been able to keep it away from her thank God.

Not much to report really around here at this stage.

Update

Last week was my first week when I was officially a stay at home mum of 2 and let me tell you, it was a little harder then I first thought.

The 2 children on their own I can handle, but put them together it creates a bit of hair pulling.

Lachlan was thankfully was in childcare Monday and Tuesday so I got to figure out how Charlotte and I work on our own and I actually got a fair bit of studying done.

Come Wednesday that is when it started. Lachlan has that whole toilet training training thing going on so that just makes this whole situation a bit harder, also it doesn't help that we have the terrible 2s starting as well.

By Thursday Lachlan was pushing my buttons a bit and I was wanting to throw him out the window (but don't worry I controlled myself). I was glad that DH came home early from work that day.

On Friday Lachlan and I must have come to an understanding as he was a good little boy and was really helpful.

Charlotte on those days was a dream as usual. I am sure that once she has more awake time there will be more work there.

I am still feeling dark and twisty and I have told DH that is how I am feeling but we haven't talked about it. I am not sure that we will talk about it in the short term.

DH and I are also going to organise a holiday for the end of next year (when Charlotte is 1). We are looking up North, probably the Whitsundays. So my weightless goal is aimed towards there.