Exhausted!

I am exhausted!! For some reason over the last 4 days my body has decided to wake me up at 4.15 every morning so I can pee!! This is do not on I can bearley function at the moment, not good when you ate looking after a active 1 year old.

Yesterday was a beautiful hot day here and Lachlan got to have a play in his new shell pool which he really enjoyed and after his play we sat on the couch and shared an ice block. At that moment I had a bit of an emotional moment, I said to Lachlan that if he was my only child I would still be the happiest mum in the world. He is such a beautiful boy inside and out, he is always excited to play with someone new and barely chucks any tantrums. I am turly lucky to have this awesome little boy as my son.

I think I have been thinking a lot lately as I and DH have been thinking that we might be out for this month. I don't know it is just a feeling really, there has been no sign of AF yet, but I don't know I don't feel pregnant at all. I was having what I thought were symptoms earlier on but now I am not really feeling anything.

At the moment I am 9 DPO and it is 1 more day until I can test. I told myself I would wait until 10 DPO and it is almost here. THANK GOD! I have been dying to pee on a stick! I got a positive HPT at 10 DPO so I am hoping that tomorrow I will get that second line.

Please keep your fingers crossed for me.

Hello I am Kimnus and I am an addict

Well I couldn't hold back. This morning I tested and of course it was a BFN, I knew when I took the test that it was going to be a BFN, but I really needed to get it out of my system.

I was lying in bed at 4.30am and I was thinking, should I test or shouldn't I test...and testing got the better of me.

I will try and hold out for another 3 days, as like I said too myself I won't see anything until then anyway.

Today I went for my 21 day progesterone test to see if I O'ed. I am feeling pretty confident about it at the moment, I got a nice dark OPK on CD 14 and my temps are doing all the right things as well.

The symptoms I am feeling at the moment are:
- Fatigue (I feel asleep on the couch this morning. So not like me)
- Cramps
- Frequent Urination
- Increased CM

But my one problem is that this is my first round on Clomid so I don't know how long it stays around in your system for? I will have to ask Dr Davis when I see him on the 9th.

Starting to put the new years resolutions into action

Well I am really sticking to things this year and I have already started to do things on my resolutions list already.

1. To become pregnant.

We have already started to TTC and I am currently 6 DPO and I am dying to POAS. I am trying to stay strong and wait until 10 DPO, but I don't think I can, I think that I will need to take a test tomorrow.

2. To lose weight.

I have joined a site call myfitnesspal so I can track my calorie intake which has been a big help and I am starting to go for walks and I am looking at getting an xbox connect as well hoping that I can lose some weight that way as well. I also have a friend that I go to the gym with sometimes and I am going to start that up again so we can motivate each other a bit more.

Although I think that I am going to track my heart beat a bit more as I don't know if I am pregnant just yet, I might have to ask someone at the gym to see what I should have to keep my heart rate at.

3. To get a tattoo.

I have been really wanting to get Lachlan's name tattooed on me , plus a couple of other tattoos that mean a lot to me. I have picked the lettering to Lachlan's name and I have also designed a tattoo for my angel babies that I want as well (plus I have some sexy tattoos that I want done as well).

But once again I will have to wait to see if I am pregnant before I get these tattoos done.

4. Continue studying.

I am currently studying a Batchelor of Education (primary) but I have decided to change my degree and do a Batchelor of behavioural science (psychology) I seem to have more of an interest in psychology and I seem to be a bit unmotivated in Education. So in January I am going to enrol into Behavioural Science. So excited!!

5. To keep repairing my relationship with DH.

Things have been a bit weird with me today. Something happened with a friend of mine and she has left her husband, but the weird thing is that her doing this has made me rethink a couple of things in my marriage. I know I should have probably thought about this when DH actually cheated on my but I think with my friend leaving her husband it has really made a switch flick in my head. I really don't know what to do, DH is really making an effort and is finally putting Lachlan and I first and I am loving it, but does it mean that I forget about the things he did? I am really going to need to think about things over the next couple of days.

2012 - The Year Of New Beginnings

Happy New Year to all my readers! I hope you brought the New Year in with style no matter what you did.

7 years ago on New Year's Eve I met my DH. I had only recently broken up with my boyfriend (actually 3 days before New Year's Eve) and my friends decided that it would be a good idea to get out for New Years Eve and come with them to the Rocks in Sydney and bring the New Year in.

so I prettied myself up and went in with them. I had a blast met a lot of interesting people and danced the night away. At 11.30pm a really good looking guy can up to my friends and I and said "Hello Ladies." And at the time he came up to us I was giving him free hugs, so I gave him a hug and there was an instant connection between us. He told us how he had a really great spot to watch the fireworks and we went back with him. From there we stayed and watched the fireworks and at Midnight we had our first kiss. It was so magical.

As I think back to that moment when everything was new and exciting it makes me think about the year we have had. It has been one crappy year. The affair, we said goodbye to another Angel, the pain of everything....but it has been a year of memories as well. Our Lachlan turned one! Watching him grow into the little man that he is has been so amazing and we are so proud of him.

2012 is going to be the year of new beginnings for our little family. And I hope that this year will start off with a bang for us.

Probably about 2dpo

I had the worst cramping on CD 14 when I O'ed...it was the worst pain that I have ever felt...it was up there with contractions. DH was about ready to take me to the hospital, but I informed him that it was probably the Clomid working and getting those eggs to meep his spermies lol, although I did promis him that if the pain got worse he could send me to the hospital.

I did another OPK on CD 15 and it was negative so I am keeping everything crossed that we managed to catch that egg, it would be a great early birthday present for DH as his birthday is on the 16th and I can probably start testing from the 7th. I see Dr Davis on the 9th and he will probably give me a blood test to get my HCG tested if we get a positive HPT. Although our next step is on the 3rd when I get my 21 day blood test done, and I will probably get the results of that on the 9th as well.

One thing I will really love us that if we are UTD this cycle we will get the BFP on around DH birthday and bub will be due around my birthday (mine is the 16th September) my friend says that it is fate, and I am a big believer of fate. It would be so special if it comes true.

O Day!

I O'ed today!!!...well go a positive OPK.

So excited that today it happened, just like Dr Davis said it would. I am keeping everything crossed that this cycle it happens.

We have been doing the deed since 25th December and will continue doing it until the 29th December. I am also going to be enjoying my new year with a couple of drinks and then test about the 9th or 10th Jan.

Please keep everything crossed for me.

New years resolutions

I usually think around this time of year about what I will do to make the next year a better year, but I think anything I do next year wont make this year a distant memory.

This year has tested my marriage with DH having an affair in January/February of this year, and that had created in itself a mired of other obstacles to over come. I miscarried in April this year, or 3rd loss overall which just creates more pain in my heart. In July I am diagnosed with PCOS and started on metformin. November I discover that I haven't been ovulating and am given a referral to see Dr Davis. Dr Favis starts gives me a scrip for Clomid. December (the 14th to be exact) I started Clomid, and in that cycle I remain to finish out the year.

I am hoping to start the New Year differently this year. I don't want any fights, I don't want to be thinking about last year (even though it was the first full year with my son, and that has been ruined by my DH stupidity), I just want to forget about this year completely. If I get up the duff this cycle I will be due to test around DH birthday 16th January) so that will be a great present for him, as I will keep it a secret from him and wrap the test up as a present for him.

I know you are not meant to use a pregnancy as keeping a couple together, and please don't think I am, but I am thinking that me becoming pregnant at the beginning of next year, where all the crap of last year stared would be a great new beginning for us both. I love my husband and I know what he did was wrong, and he knows that he has hurt me so much, and he has tried so hard over this year to glue this family back together, and I can't see myself having children with anyone else.

So my New Years Resolutions are:

- to become pregnant

- to lose weight

- to get a tattoo (have been wanting Lachlan's name plus so other meaningful ones for a while now)

- to continue studying

- to keep mending my relationship with DH.

These are the major things I want to happen and I believe they are reachable if I am in the right mindset.

As for For me trying to conceive I am currently CD 10. I am still feeling the hot flushes and the metformin is still giving me the dry mouth so I am trying to keep up the fluids.